Bachelor alum Arie Luyendyk Jr. and fiancée Lauren Burnham have just announced their wedding date, but don’t get too excited because a) their ceremony will probs be hella boring and b) you won’t be able to watch them tie the knot anyway.

During an appearance on talk show The View on Wednesday, the 36-year-old race car driver/realtor/dullest person ever revealed that he and Lauren will be getting married in Hawaii next year on January 12—but cameras won’t be allowed in. “It’s a private wedding, so not on TV,” Arie said. “Just a close group of friends. Probably 100 guests.”

So let me get this straight: you invite Bachelor cameras to film you DUMP your first fiancée Becca Kurfrin, but won’t let them record you saying “I do” to the woman you later proposed to ON NATIONAL TV?!  YOU ARE ONE MESSED-UP BACHELOR, ARIE.

 

Killin it @ariejr!!!

A post shared by Lauren Burnham (@laureneburnham) on

Speaking of Becca, the couple’s announcement came one day after Arie’s ex—and the star of the upcoming season of The Bachelorette—revealed that she’s engaged to a hottie from the show. Coincidence? “Honestly, I don’t think we really had much control over that,” Lauren told the show’s hosts. “It just happens to be the timing of things,” Arie added.

L.O.L.

Even though the couple won’t show their own wedding on TV, Arie did address why he wanted everyone to see his breakup with Becca and his subsequent “love story” with Lauren. “I think the editing chose to show more of the breakup than the happy parts of that ending,” he said. “It was a big risk to do what I did and I know that it wasn’t a popular decision. But… I knew that Lauren was the person I was supposed to be with.”

All ridiculousness and drama aside, 26-year-old Lauren said she’s super excited to marry Arie since they “vibe well together.” “We’re best friends, so we’re just ready for that next step,” she said, adding that if she could get married to the villain former Bachelor tomorrow, she would.

While we’re not too invested in what these two lovebirds are up to (and neither is Charlize Theron), we’re happy that they’re happy, I guess. And for those who *are* interested in watching Arie say “I love that” when Lauren walks down the aisle, he revealed their wedding venue is Haiku Mill in Maui, where there’s “a lot of vines and greenery.”  This means, if you’re really desperate to watch the nuptials, you can likely hide in bushes nearby.

A GIF of Kim Kardashian hiding in bushes
(Source: Giphy)