What Your Dating Profile Would Be Like If Written By Your Grandma

Having a hard time coming up with a clever bio for a dating app or website? Maybe let your grandma take the wheel! That’s what these Reddit users have done.

From the granny who who thinks ‘Tinder’ is the name of a nice man, to the one who can’t remember your name, prepare to relate.

1. The Caps-Locker

‘SMART BOY HE’S MY BOY IS THE MOST HANDSOME BOY AND VERY SWEET. HE WILL TREAT U RIGHT TAKE YOU TO DINNER OR MOVIE. WHEN HE WAS LITTLE HIS FAVOURITE RESTAURANT WAS CHILIS. HE LIKES STEAK AND HE LIKES IT WHEN IT RAINS.’

– Pompous_Italics

2. The Detailed One

‘She is a very nice young lady. She is letting me live in her room while she is away at school and that was very kind and generous of her. She was a very cute baby, but her sister grew up to be prettier. Very very smart as well. She does well at school but refuses to give me senior discounts when we play Monopoly, so be careful. She is looking for a nice young man, and hopefully one that does not paint his fingernails like her sister’s boyfriend.’

– archaeob

3. The Adoring One

‘He is the best looking boy in the bunch’.

– dew89

4. The Realistic One

‘Very attractive young man although he doesn’t wear his sweater or finish his pasta.’

– Terraemotus_

5. The One Who Thinks Tinder Is A Man

‘Dear Mr. Tinder, Possum is a nice girl with an elegant turn of ankle. All the best, Ivy.’

– Danger_Possum

6. The Overseller

‘My handsome grandson is a real catch. You girls better watch out because he’s going to do great things in life. He has that special something that you’re going to want. You’re just going to feel so lucky to be with him. He really is a good boy.’

– Footpeter

7. The Brutally Honest One

‘Not pretty, not too clever, but can cook and is willing to overlook most shortcomings.’

– unfunnycat

8. The Forgetful One

‘John, I mean Charlie, I mean, Alex SH*T I mean Jan’s youngest.’

– ejc138